i m back!!!

depressed for a long time ad... cried before.. din talk to ppl.. very suffer in during tat period... bt nw.. i ok ad... all of my problem i settle ad... thx 4 all of them who always beside me when i suffer... thx alot... i reli appreciate it... and i wan tell all of my fren... i m back... so.. no nid wori abt me.. love u all... today gt 1 ppl scold me... said i 'dun wan lose'... coz i blame tat ppl... coz he din tell me after back home frm hospital... erm.. after tat i gt think back... i gt fault... bcoz juz i too care and wori oni... and he can choose to dun tell me... coz may be he din treat me as 1 of his fren... eveh hw much i concern... i reli sad when i n0e tat... and i oso lazy to argue wit him ad... coz he juz think like he nvr din wrong and all is ppl do bad thing to him... haiz... nvr hear he sry oso... so.. i reli dunn0 is tat ppl gt problem or i gt problem... may b is me lo... wakaka.. bt i dun care ad... coz juz all of the ppl n0e i m nt tat kind of ppl... may b rich ppl is always like tat lo... high class... nvr make mistake... wakaka... i m cheap.. yeah... wish every1 hapi always...

depressed???

12/8/09 2.24am

juz cum back from dinner...din slp laz nite... then took a nap after class at 5 til 10pm... i dreamed abt my mom... then when i first woke up... i tot stil alive... after few second then oni i realized tat was juz a dream... then i went eat wit frens.. i din spread out even 1 word when we eat... then dunn0 y sudedenly my tears coming out.. without any reason... coz my mind was blank tat time some more q was watching a funny movie tat time... i really shock bcoz i oso dunn0 y i wil like tis...tis few weeks really stress and bz... always live in worry... i scare if i keep like tis i wil gt depressed... hw can a ppl cry without any reason.... bt nw.. i m the 1 who did tis... nw gt sore throat ad... coz lack of slp...

很累...

最近都很忙...每一天都坐在电脑面前做功课...看到功课都快要吐了...近乎每一天的睡眠时间都不到四个小时...甚至有时候没有睡...真的很压力...很累...很想有一个我很想得到的依靠...可是...也许大家都有自己要烦的事吧...我找不到那依靠...真的好想家...
这一个礼拜里面都有着许多人对我说他们有喜欢我、多爱我...但是为的就只是要跟我发生关系...要的就是利用我来打发他们无聊的时间...拜托...我不是玩具、不是男妓!!!所以别再烦我!!!还有...我没有装可爱!!!而且我这么难看的人...怎么装也不会可爱...所以没有这个必要...我真的不想再面对任何人了...所以我暂时不会回复你们的信息...对不起...
这一次你陪我坐着...但是我的手心却是空空的...因为我不再主动...但你却...仿佛每一次都是自己主动牵着你的手来把手心填满...不去追问到底为什么...是我对你最后的温柔...以前牵着手的日子...我真的很快乐...可是时间回不去了...

thx to u all, frens..

3/8/09

kiki... wat i wan to say today is juz thx, thx and thx... coz i gt the present tat my fren have bought 4 me... hui has bought a wrist mouse pad 4 me in the pc fair. bcoz she say tat she heard i said my hand hurt bcoz of doing assignment too long wit computer.... then she bought me tat pad... besides, teera oso the 1 tat very sayang me de.. coz when she wonder tat my cooling pad was spoil then she gv me 1 nw de... coz she gt 2 cooling pad... so touch tat u all so sayang me..

i juz feel like i m stil a kid... wakaka... coz always gt alot ppl take care of me and sayang me..

huhu... thx u all ya... all of u, my frens... coz u all gv me support when i m upset... i nw ok le..

the normal jeffrey cum bek le... huhu~~~

不再独自奋斗了...

今天比昨天早起哦...wakaka...心情有点受到影响...因为有个死不认输的人...弄到我不懂应该笑好还是气好...哈哈...不过我很开心...因为我的室友他们买了roti canai来请我吃...终于我的付出有人看到了...而且这个月的租金又他们3个先出...等那个人搬进来后再退回给他们...觉得很欣慰哦...因为我昨天半夜有跟其中一位比较要好的室友诉心事...说关于被某人否定得很惨的事情...然后再告诉他我所为大家付出的事情...我为这个家所面对的压力...其实我一直都收在心里...直到昨天才说出来...因为我真的很担心这个家...我有留意到他在听的时候，他的眼睛都翻红了...我的付出是值得的...谢谢你们的roti canai和终于的了解...我真的很开心...但在身边所有的人里面就有着一个否定我到极点的人...没关系吧...他不道歉的话就算了...继续否定吧...哈哈...真的很开心...因为我不再是一个人奋斗了...一个队伍是需要大家互相合作的...而不是只有队长一个人在比赛而已...队长的责任只是要扶持大家...而不是帮大家而独自迎战的...希望那个人能够不要这么自我吧...我的责任感你们看得见就够了...

不负责任...我是吗？？？

2/8/09
被人说得一文不值...哈哈...那种感觉很难受...因为那个人根本就不了解状况...真的以为house leader很好当吗？当初是因为没有人愿意承担这个责任我才硬着去签下合约的...不然大家现在都可能各散东西了...如果我真的如你说的那么不负责任的话,那我就不用那么烦了...别人的房间关我什么事？？？我大可以不用理他们啊...他们自己去付那多余的钱就好啊...我为什么要自己去帮忙找人？？？我为什么要自掏腰包？？？我是闲着没事做吗？？？我这叫不负责任吗？？？你了解被自己最爱的人否定有多难过吗？？？我为了这间家付出的有多少你知道吗？？？任何事情就只有自己去面对...其他人就事不关己，己不劳心...我也是人啊...我也会有压力有脾气的...你有了解过整件事吗？？？问题根本就不是那个钱..而是他们的态度...我不满的只有这一点...但我从来都没有在他们面前说过一句...那时因为我不想给别人麻烦...难道我在blog抒发自己的情绪也是错的吗？？？如果不是因为有blog的存在，我看我早已经疯掉了...

the feeling of guilty

1/8/09 3.06pm
juz wake up... haha... slp til so late... juz nw called my baba... i m so hapi to n0e he is fine thr... baba sound like miss me de... coz he juz keep say that y i so long din bek home... then i juz explain to him abt my situation nw lo... sry arr baba... i reli cant go back.. too much assignment le... then baba oso n0e tat i gt money problem... he ask me this month gv me 600 ok or nt... then i said if baba thr cant cover de 500 is enuf de... i can try to settle myself... then he say is ok... then monday wil bank in 600 to me... i felt very guilty tat time... coz i reli long din bek thr... baba very sayang me de i n0e... reli wish to cry... i miss my baba... may be 600 is juz a small amount money to sum ppl... bt it is consist of the love of my baba... then is enuf le... i love my baba... i will appreciate wat i having nw... i m nt poor bcoz wat i hv nw is more than money...